How to Write Wedding Vows

Many elements in your wedding plans describe how you want your own wedding to be and they are very exciting to create. Other than your decisions on the bridal gown, the music, the cake, the most important part of a wedding though often times given a little thought- your wedding vow. Just think of it, if there is no wedding vow, there would be no marriage, just a big celebration.

Start by taking time to think how you would like to exchange your vows. Here are some considerations:

Religion

You may have very little to decide if you are having a Catholic Mass or a Jewish Orthodox ceremony because the vows will largely be dictated by the customs of your religion. However, even in a traditional religious service, you may have some options. Are you comfortable including the word “obey” in your vows, or can it be omitted? (Or maybe just the groom could pledge to be obedient!)Do you prefer to be pronounced man and wife or husband and wife? Those are just little but special things.

Allocate enough time for writing

Often couples have the option of writing their own vows, even within the context of a religious ceremony. The idea of facing your beloved at the altar and speaking words of love written especially for him is incredibly romantic. The reality, however, is that writing your own vows can be very difficult. You want them to be personal - but not so personal that you make the guests blush, romantic but not sappy, and contemporary yet timeless. That is a tall order! If you remain sold on writing your own vows, it is smart to start early. Don’t be one of those brides writing her vows during the eleventh hour, like while you are getting dressed to go to the church. Allowing yourself ample time will help your creative juices to flow.

Think of something that will inspire you

Inspiration for your vows can come from anywhere, but they should be in keeping with the overall spirit of your wedding. For example, if you are standing barefoot at the beach wearing a simple dress and earthy handmade wedding jewelry, you could draw on nature or the ocean as a metaphor. A black tie event with a bride in an opulent gown and ornate handmade wedding jewelry would call for a different tone. The vows should be more formal; perhaps you could include a quote from Shakespeare or another favorite poet.

Do some self reflections on what you really want to say to your spouse

The most important thing about custom wedding vows is that they reflect who you are as a couple. The whole point of using your own words is that they will be meaningful to your spouse. Inject little tidbits about your life together, such as how you met or a passion that you share, to make your vows personal. Humor is always great, as long as it is done in good taste. Your guests will enjoy hearing funny anecdotes about your life together, and your vows will be completely original.

Writing your own vows works only if the bride and the groom both want to do it. If either of you feel uncomfortable with the process, by all means use the traditional vows. They have been in use for a long time with good reason. Whichever you choose, the best part is that once you exchange your vows, you will be married to the one you love.